Give me something to believe in.

I'm going to come out and say it the first time: I'm going to cut the bullshit and get right to the point. I've already danced around too many tables in my life.

Five days ago (Dec. 22) was the two-year anniversary since I got kicked out of the residential treatment centre/group home. Most of my friends now have no idea about this part of my life, and I must say that I completely forgot about it to (well, at least for that day). As the years pass, I think about it less and less, which I suppose is a good thing.

Christmas this year didn't feel like Christmas; the feelings fade as I age. My dysfunctional family never seems to disappoint with the awkward pretentious moments.

As of right now, I am stuck between two normal phases of maturity. I'm not in high school anymore (thank God), and I am waiting to be accepted into college for September. In a way, I am definitely thankful for this time of inertia. I want to make the best out of it so I can be the best I can in the future. I know the transition is not going to be easy and I know I need to work a lot on myself.

This new year should be interesting. I'm headed down to Orlando, FL on the 1st until the 16th. I get to see friends I wouldn't normally be able to see. I've been tentatively planning trips to shows (Bamboozle, Warped Tour, etc.), along with more vacations (Orlando, Mexico, etc.).

With this fun, I also have to work on some hard stuff. I am going to go back to therapy, so I have to give the therapist my psychiatrist recommends a call and set up a meeting. The whole thing just gets old -- it's a cycle I've lived for the past 7-8 years. My recovery is never-ending, I guess.

I have to work all this around my Mom's surgery. She's doing pretty well right now. Her chemo and radiation rounds were finished about a month ago and now all we have to do is wait. She has a bunch of tests on the day I return from FL and then we are going to see where to go from there. I'm really hoping she stays strong -- she keeps amazing me.