I was afraid my blogs were going to sound like some English essay, because that's not my intention. Please bare with me while I fight with this habit. I need to let go and get to the point.
When I am really drawn into a film, novel, or television show it makes me question the reality of it, along with the reality of my own life. In this story, the four girls are best friends. They have been like that since they were born. But, here I am. I have all but maybe two best friends, if that, whom I've met fairly recently in my life.
I did not grow up with any of the friends I have now. Most of them don't know what I've been through. I do not have a shoulder to cry on, someone to spend meaningful time with, nor someone I am forever bonded to, yet the girls in the movie have three others to share this with.
So, which is the true reality? Or is it different for everyone and I've just ended up with the shorter end of the stick? My intention is not to sit here and sulk, as I am not blaming anyone -- I know I, myself, play a huge part in this -- but it's hard to make sense of what I do and don't have.
Another theme that got me thinking along the same lines is love. Bridget, she was in love the first summer (and ends up with the guy in the novel), Carmen falls in love for the first time with a British actor, Tibby has a boyfriend that a girl would die for, and Lena is still madly in love with a guy back in Greece, while also seeing a model in the US.
And then there's me. No boyfriend, nothing. I do not know what love is. The things that I have felt before are nothing but petty and shameless perceptions. I do not know a thing or two about the typical relationship, and somehow always to manage to create a twisted situation, which is never ideal. It has never felt 'right' for me; it has never been easy.
Sure, I am a hopeless romantic and these types of story-line feeds into that. It makes me question reality, as well. Should I stick to my 'dreams' and never let down my expectations? Or make the best deal with whatever is in front of me? What I am wonder is, if there's truth to those girls' love lives, or would I just be naive and wasting my time believing that?
I don't think you're wasting your time believing in all that. Its very much out there for you, its all just timing. Its either your time now or its not. Be patient, you'll get what you deserve one day, probably when your not looking for it.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand bout the love thing. I've never benn in love, myself, so I think the same way. Although, I must admit, at this time in our lives ,I think the love of our freinds is the most important thing right now, we're still finding out who we all are, we don't need love to complicate that process, just our friends to help us along the way.
I know this is a very old blog but I often see everything very similarly.
ReplyDeleteSince moving to Toronto and leaving high school, I feel like I am constantly alone. I'm awful at making friends, so I basically have none, and those I do I can only see on rare occasion because we are all so busy/don't really live close to each other.
I question if friendships like that really do exist.
I watch Sex and the City, and the friendship that they have absolutely amazes me. I often dream, if not wish, for friendships like that one day.
As for love...
I don't even know if it truly exists.
xo