Patience Is A Virtue

I am an impatient person. If something is desirable to me, I usually want it in my hands right now. Sure, growing up I was a bratty child because of this. I was always trying to fulfill this need. As I've grown up and matured, this has turned me into a highly emotional stubborn and attached (to the desirable objects) young woman. I've dealt with this in multiple situations and in various ways. Right now I am faced with it again.

I cannot stop my mind ever since it got started. Gasoline has been thrown on this fire, which doesn't help my cause. I am not saying this situation is anything negative; it's quite positive and I am pleased with it over all. I've just never had to deal with myself in a real way under these circumstances.

I just feel so impulsive and I don't want to have to wait. I understand that things in life get in the way and I respect other people's decisions, as I know they are right. I would have judged their character if they chose otherwise. I guess I am still childish and want all the attention to be on me.

I don't know how to shake this and I need to keep my cool, while remaining honest. For once, my heart and head are align but still, my emotions continue to be out of whack. Perhaps it's my fear of losing everything. I have so much hope and my heart is still young. I want to reach out and jump into life, but it's hard to be told to wait by someone you want.

So, I'll try to clear my head and focus on other things. This is harder than I could have ever imagined. To my friends who I constantly vent to: I love you and would go crazy without you!

I Am Writing Again

Well, I wrote about a third of my persuasive essay last night. It's about Astrology/horoscopes. I am frustrated because it is not telling me what I want to hear about a certain new relationship of mine, so I am determined to prove that they are in fact false. It has so far been proven false by the relationship so far, so that makes me happy.

He went home for the weekend. I miss him and it sucks. If he ever reads this, then this is just embarrassing. My best friend is trying to help me cope by doing poetry exercises. Ie. "I don't know when I'll see you next. I bet you're great at sex". Yeah, we are cool people that have nothing better to do on a Saturday.

In other news - since you're not getting all the details about said person - I'm still doing the whole college thing. Humanities on Tuesday nights and Writing on Wednesday nights. It's past mid-term, but I don't know if the profs are posting grades.

However, I want to run away to Europe today. I miss London/Oxford/England and want to explore the rest of Europe. I wish I had more money and didn't have to pay for college. Ack. I need a vacations soon. I'm still not sure when I'm going to be heading back to Florida or for how long. Anytime from May to September.

Last weekend Heather, Ming, Mandie and I drove and saw Valencia in Chicago (Orland Park) and Detroit. We spent three nights in Mandie's bedroom and Ming pitched a tent. More road trips need to happen because they are epic. Pictures are on my FaceBook if you're interested. Videos: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Since I've been back from our adventure last weekend, I haven't felt the need to utilize most internet networking sites and forums. I don't know why this is, but I only read FaceBook. This whole shift gives me more time and energy to obsesses over other things. Yay me! (or not).

Well, I'm going to go say that I'm "cleaning" when I'm really dancing around listening to my iPod and chatting with my best friend. Happy Saturday!!

Ps. My 19th birthday is in two weeks tomorrow. Ahh! If I haven't already invited you to my party and you want to be invited, let me know.